Photobucket

I am what I am. Spent most of my past listening to other people's bullshit so now I say it as I see it. If you don't like it, I don't really care. I don't conform to expectations so don't expect me to follow yours. I'm a rebel neither with nor without a cause but a rebel just the same.

Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.
Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964), Taken Care Of ,1965

Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket


[13] Feeling So Lethargic
[12] My Pent Up Anger
[11] No Time
[10] I Saw A Waterspout
[9] Irritating Stupid People
[8] I Hate Idiotic Guys
[7] 6 Days Of Pure Torture
[6] Sick....
[5] The Past Week
[4] This Comes From The Heart

ShoutMix chat widget
Established since: April 2007

Host: Blogger
Layout designed by: Victoria

Sunday, July 01, 2007 [14] Keeping Busy Doesn't Seem To Work.. BUT....
[14] Keeping Busy Doesn't Seem To Work.. BUT....




Dear You

I have been so busy lately till I'm not even sure whether I'm coming or going. But it's great.. It keeps my mind of things. It was to the point where my daily planner was damn fucking full!

I made it that way because I really need to keep my mind off Rudy. He texted me on Friday night the 15th and asked whether we could stay friends.


His excuse for that request was very illogical and unbelievable but then what else am I to do except accept it.

No matter that I felt like shaking him by the shoulders and demanding that he gives me a good reason instead of a lame one.



But strangely... Deep down inside.. I somehow felt that the lame reason was actually the truth.



I can't explain why but my instincts have always been spot on. Still.. I'm still not clear about the whole picture.

If you're reading this Rudy.. I just have to say this to you..

Yes. I do understand that you don't want to give me hopes that you're afraid that you can't fulfill


I wished that we could have at least put in the effort and tried.

Sure. People are giving you more responsibilities and you're getting more workload. But then I have never demanded for your attention 24hrs a day ok. Think about it.

The last time I met you was somewhere in the middle of June. Before that I didn't meet you for 4 months and in that 1 month you didn't even call me for a month.




OI! It's good enough that I wasn't paranoid ok! You did something once. You could have done it again.

But no.. I made a promise to you last year that I will change myself completely and..

TAA DAH!

I did! You asked me to trust you and I did.

I gave you all the freedom and space you wanted..


Itu pun not enough for yew ke Bear? :'(

NABEI!

I stopped smoking because you nicely asked me to ok!

PFFFTTT!

Then now you say you wanna be friends because you getting more responsibility?



Hell! I feel hurt because in a way you are implying that I'm a burden to you?

Hey! Before we even got together in a relationship I laid out to you everything before me and I even asked you to consider but no...


You said that you can see that I'm a good person and that we will go through all obstacles together.



But when that stupid bitch started destroying everything. You were the 1st to actually pull away. I thought I was supposed to be the weak one and you were supposed to be the strong one.
I feel so disappointed.....



I gave you all of me
How was I to know,
You would weaken so easily
I don't know what to do
Now I'm all cried out
Over you

I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure,
My heart never knew such pain
And you
You left me so confused




I don't ask much from you Rudy. I just ask for your honesty, your loyalty, your trust and your love.

But honestly.. I still love you Rudy. Yeah.. I really do.. But like you said. If we were meant to be together.. then we will end up with each other.




But for now. I will enjoy and embrace my single hood! Hence the busy days..

Needless to say.. I haven't been getting that much sleep lately. The days after I wrote my previous entry were filled with meeting my girlfriend Dea over at Spinelli Raffles City where we would discuss and plan our upcoming Bangkok trip in September.

I'm so fucking excited I tell you.

We're going to be spending a week there and it's retail therapy for us bebeh!

One of my best guy friends got engaged on the 17th of June and I was so happy for him. Kecik was the one who actually introduced me to Rudy. But he was the one who got settled down 1st.

It was funny cause nearly a year after I got together with Rudy, he was actually complaining to him on how he can never find the one.

Now he's with the ONE..

Congrats again Kecik. Even though I wasn't with Rudy anymore. Nothing would stop me from going to my "brother"'s engagement.








After that a few of us went over to Boy's house cause he got into an accident a few days before. Please people when you're on the road. Think of others ok

It's because of this kind of carelessness that cause others to get hurt. But we had fun at his place overall. We were eating, watching Tv and playing with Flash's new PSP.

Haha! Sorry eh Flash. Me and Wak kept arguing with each other on whose turn it was to play on the PSP.

Won't tell much. Just look at the pics.



Then the days after that met Dea again.. abit of chilling at Spinelli's again and on some days went shopping with Cat.

On the 23rd of June which was a Saturday.. One of my friend got married at Chijmes Hall. The food was damn delicious I tell you.. Courtesy of Capella of course..
Won't say much again.. But here's a few pics of the couple.





Douglas O was also present and afterwards both the bride and groom celebrated at Le Baroque. Cat and I went to Insomnia. Where else other this wacky place with the wackiest staff ever.

On Sunday I went window shopping with Dea and it was damn frustrating I tell you!

Sales everywhere. We totally fell in love with this particular GUESS? blouse which was originally $175 and it was strike down to a fucking $59 bucks xia!!

But we had to resist ourselves from shopping cause we really need to save up for the Bangkok trip. I'm going to shop till I drop and crawl!

Haha!

We were practically clutching each other and hyperventilating when we saw how the prices were slashed.

Dea's arm were covered with goosebumps all the way..

Relax girl..

September will roll in soon!

Oh!

I have to say that my best girlfriend since secondary school, Sue joined my company too. So now there's 3 ex Hong Kah students and it's such a blast to have her around.

I miss my babe lah.. Ever since she got married and gave birth.. I didn't spend as much time meeting her as before.

What to do.. A wife and a mother already.. Her daughter/ my god daughter is really cute lah.. I will steal a pic of her from Sue's phone and post it up.

She will seriously grow up to be a beautiful young lady and a heart breaker too.
Hmmm...

Abit like her mom.

Haha!

Ok!

Enough talking.. Just see the pics of me and my colleagues.



Ok enough of this!

I'm tired!

I better go and sleep. This coming weekend will be a busy one for me.

On Saturday 7th July, I'll be going to Lia & Zul's engagement then I'll be going shopping with Dea and I will have a surprise!

One of my wish list will be coming true.. Guess which.. heheh..

After shopping, if it's not too late.. I'll be going to Ain & Didi's wedding dinner. If I cant make it..

Sorry eh Ain.. You know what I'm going to be getting right?

I don't know how long it will take. But I'll see you the next day. That's a promise!

Then on Sunday 8th July, Ain and Didi's wedding!

Gosh!

Everyone I know is either getting engaged or married. I heard that my ex primary school friend got married last week and in August, my ex secondary school friend is getting engaged and...

Rudy's mom told me earlier today that his brother is getting engaged in August!

AARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

The torture!!

But hey..

Congratz to them...

P.S. Thanks to my friends who are helping me cope with the lonely void that Rudy has left behind.
Thank you for listening to my rants and raves and my pleas for help.
Thank you for supporting me and sitting through my tears.
Thanks to my friends who kept me entertained at work so that I won't be thinking of him.
Thanks to Cheryl for making me put aside my own problems so that I could occupy myself with yours. Hee...
Especially Dea who actually talked to me all through the night till the early morning listening to me cry my heart out when I called her just as she was about to fall asleep..
Thanks Gf! And I'm so sorry to disrupt your sleep.
Till then...

Labels:

Posted by: Natasha
Time: 10:56:00 PM