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Maafkanlah ku bertanya…
[4]This Comes From The Heart
Dear You
On labour day, my friend insisted that I watched the show Main-main Cinta on Suria. She insisted that I look like the lead actress Misha Omar. All I have to say is this. NOT EVEN LAH! Honestly no.. but since I had nothing better to do I was thinking, 'what the heck, just watch it'.
As it turns out it was a sappy, mushy story about this couple in college who were very popular. The girl's nemesis wants to take over the popularity status and get the guy too. So she thinks up evil plans to make them break up.
Sounds like what I'm going through right?
So anyway. She succeeds in tricking the guy into helping her 1 night and got her friend to take a photo of them. She then posted it up on the internet and sends mass emails about it. So the misunderstanding start. But through it all, thier love for each other was still present.
The guy sang this particular song when he was confused.
I think the song suits what I'm feeling now. Let me just briefly translate it in english.
Basically the song is asking why the girl is being very cold to him. So he is asking whether is it because she doesn't need him anymore. Whether she really doesn't want his love anymore. Is it true that her feelings has change maybe because she has someone else in her heart.
He's also asking her where is the promise she has given him. The promise that her love for him is forever which was witnessed by the moon during the night they realised that they have fallen in love with each other.
He's pleading to her from his heart because he wishes for them to get back together and be like old times because the sweet memories makes him miss her alot. At the end of the song he is saying that if it is true that she really doesn't need/want him anymore. He pleads for her to keep the memories of their love in her heart and that even though he finds it hard to let her go. If she really insist, then he will go.
See.. Isn't it the same as to what I'm feeling now?
I am embarressed to admit this but as I am writing this down, I am listening to the song and I'm crying.
Yeah.. I'm crying my heart out. Because I don't think I can take this any longer. I really don't think I can. I am just so hurt by his silence. I am not ashamed that I really loved him and I gave my whole heart in this relationship.
If in any way any of my exes or guys who have given thier heart to me.. My heartfelt apologies to the all of you I have hurt before. I am so sorry for treating you guys that way. I am sorry for hurting all of you and for making all of you like fools. I took all your love for granted and used it to my advantage.
But to my 3 exes who had ever laid their hands on me. You f*****s don't deserve the love I have showered you with. All 3 of you took advantage of me and stole my money, controlled me and when I wanted out, you hit me. All 3 of you hurt me psychically, mentally and emotionally. So you 3 can go and die for all I care.
For now.. I can just hope that puts me out of my misery. I just want to know whether we are still together or not.
If we are I promise to cherish you and treasure you and I apologise for the times that I have ever hurt you.
If we are not then I wish you all the best. I will move on but I don't think I would look for another so quickly.
My whole heart is still with him and I will always be. You have treated me with alot of love and care and concern before all this. You were there to comfort and soothe my pain away when I was crying and gripped in the nightmares of my ex beating me.
I took your love for granted once and I promise myself that it wouldn't happen again but in the end.. It turned around and now I'm in the position where you once stood.
Please..
No other words can describe the hurt I feel..
 Labels: I am so hurt.. :'(
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