[13] Feeling So Lethargic
Dear You
Its been very busy for me lately. A few of my friends has been calling up and checking on me ever since I posted my previous entry. Thanks for your concern people but you know me.
Its the past and I'm over it. Yes I do get flashbacks now and then but I'm trying to concentrate on the happier part of life.
As some of you might know. It's bloody hard but I'm trying to manage. With all you caring people around, I know I can overcome it.
To STG who happened to blog hopped to my blog and left a comment on my tag board. I'm pleased that my story has touched you. I just want to point out something which goes to the rest of the guys out there who will also chance upon my blog.
What I also forgot to put in was that when Apple used to beat me. He would say that he loved me.
Weird right?
He beat me because he loved me too much.
I totally find that fucking stupid.
How can you ever beat the one you love?
I love my family but you don't see me beating the hell out of them.
I love my friends too but you don't see me beating them.
During that point of time, I would always pray that he doesn't admit that he is totally crazy in love with me.
Why?
His excuse for beating me was because he loved me. If he is crazy in love with me.. then what?
He'll kill me?
Let me try to point out this one thing.
Our parents love us, no matter what wrong we do.. they will never stop loving us. They are the ones who raised us. From the day we were born, our parents were there for us.
When we were young and got sick, our parents were the ones who nursed us till we got better.
When we fell and bruised ourselves, they were the ones who tended to it.
For some of you, your parents never laid a hand on you. For some also, our parents do cane us but because it's for discipline.
Not matter what our parents faults are. Our parents love us unconditionally.
But yet till they die, they will never stop loving us.
SO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS TO THINK THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BEAT US?
For those who are just in a relationship in which I mean not married. Come on.. You're just the boyfriends. You didn't raise us, you weren't there for all our obstacles in our life.
Korang lelaki kasi kita makan pe?!
Fuck lah
Your love for us is not even guaranteed 100%
When you stop having feelings for us. You just drift away.
So let me ask you guys again. Is it fair for us to have you beating us because you're jealous or paranoid?
Granted there are some girls who is asking for a smack but still..
There are most who totally love you and accepts whatever it is that you do. No matter if it's wrong or right.
Appreciate us for that fact. That most are blinded with love that they are blinded to your faults.
Honestly nobody respects a guy who beat up girls. I myself think that it's cowardly.
Women are usually universally considered the weaker sex.
Though there are some women that I do admire for their guts and strength.
And there are women who are like men.
But still the point is.. men has the advantage of bigger bodies and harder hits. They have the strength for brutality. Plus they usually outweigh us in many things.
Charlie's Angels we are not.
On that note. Let me just say that if you say you love us then mean it. Do it through your heart not through your fists. Do you really find satisfaction in seeing that the person that you claim to love is all covered in bruises?
I can teach you all a very hard lesson by posting up pictures of me after Apple has beaten me. But I don't want to make you shudder and lose your appetites.
You wouldn't even recognise my face as it was all covered in bruises that was in various shades of purple, yellow, black and blue. Same goes to my body.
So please lah guys. We love you. At least treat us with some respect in return for us loving you.
I am so glad that even though once in a while I have been showing a bit of attitude to Bear, he has never laid his hands on me.
Hell.. even when we argue, we refrain ourselves from hurling vulgarities at each other and saying things that we will regret. Which is an incredible feat because both of us have very hot tempers and tend to hit something in anger. I treasure him all the more.
In fact 2 nearly 3 weeks ago he just bought a punching bag so now he can just punce out his frustration on the bag and not the walls of his house.
But yet still.. I guess maybe it's not enough for him. As of now, we're not really together because he says that it's for my own good. He wants to protect me from that bitch who keeps on bothering us.
But yet there may be a possibility that we will get back together.
So now I'm just spending my time with my friends and work.
Which reminds me. I haven't updated that I'm no longer working at Suntec.
So I haven't been blogging or logging in to msn much.
I'm no longer and admin assistant at Mercator Lines shipping company.
Now I'm a marketing executive for Jardine Smith International. Which is also located at Suntec Tower Four level 30 but that's the main office. For me.. my workplace is now located at 1 of the shophouses in Neil Road opposite the Cantonment Police Complex.
It's so much better then my previous working place. Then I was the only young staff there and I didn't actually converse with anybody. My admin officer is also annoying. She like to speak to me like I'm a kid or like I'm stupid.
Like hello.. I didn't get my diploma just so you can talk to me like I'm too stupid to understand. Then when I use perfect English to talk to you, you go blur. Idiotic bitch!
Pfffftttt....
So anyhoo.. my current workplace is more fun.. We have the radio playing loudly, we do our work but sometimes we just turn to each other and chit chatted. Or we call up our friends and talk. The boss is also fun. Makes lame jokes and has a funny kind of laugh which in turn will make us laugh too.
It's 10 to 7pm but now I enjoy coming to work. That's the way it should be. When you enjoy the work you tend to do better. Plus it's so much nearer.
I just started work and I got half day yesterday and leave today. That's why I'm up early and updating this poor neglected blog of mine. But I've got so many things to do.
1 of my best buddy is here for holiday before going back to LA next Thursday. Over the weekend I'm probably meeting my best gfs. If not I'll take the opportunity to laze at home and read the book that I checked out from the library.
On Sun, 1 of my best guy friend is getting engaged. I'm so happy for him. 2 years ago we were complaining to each other that we will never be able to find the right one for us. I'm glad you are in the middle of your path to happiness KECIK!
I so can't wait! On Mon, I'll be chilling out with my girlfriend Cheryl. Probably going to Hard Rock to watch Kumar. It's been a while.
I'm going to have to sleep well these 3 nights. I have the feeling that I will not be able to regain my energy till next Sat.
For now.. I'm going to just relax with my book.
Till then...
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